N is for love
by NoNoWriter
Summary: And S is for suitor. Though Naruto is oblivious for the real reason behind all the hungry stares sent in his way and can't help but feel unnerved by his teammate’s insanity.
1. N is for naughty thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

* * *

They stared. He didn't notice. Because everyone knew that he was oblivious when it came to himself.

They sighed. Because they were so obvious when it came to him.

Everyone noticed. Exception being Naruto Uzumaki.

Sasuke glared.

Sakura fumed.

Sai just smiled.

And they were in love. With their blond, blue-eyed team mate. All of them, at the same time.

Sasuke had felt awkward with his feelings. But there really wasn't time to hesitate now when rivals began to show up behind every corner.

Sakura's feelings for the blond had grown slowly over the years Sasuke had been gone. She didn't feel awkward at all. It was true and real and felt much better than when she had been swooning over Sasuke for reasons unknown. Now though, her competition had changed from a herd of fellow fangirls to two uberly hot males, and she wondered how it had come to this.

Sai had no trouble at all dealing with his feelings or rivals. Or that's what it seemed like, after all, you couldn't really tell from that smile of his. Out of the two main rivals he had, he was bold enough to say _'I love you' _to his object of affection. Naruto had smiled and told him that he liked Sai too and then continued his training as if nothing had happened. Sai was confused about this, so he went to the library to read books.

They stared at each other through squinted eyes.

Sasuke announced that he had been there for Naruto from to begin with. The first one to acknowledge him and actually like him for what he was. So he had all the right to claim the boy for himself. The two of them better back off.

Sakura pointed out that she was there for him when Sasuke betrayed him. Plus she had been Naruto's first crush and he still (playfully) asked her for dates occasionally. And she wondered if the two boys had thought that maybe, just _maybe_, the boy was actually straight.

Sai smiled and thought out loud that what Naruto felt for the two of them was brotherly love. All sisters and brothers; the former team seven. And that would practically be incest.

Just for that, Sasuke and Sakura decided to gang up on Sai.

Sasuke declared that Naruto must feel strongly for him, after all, he had done everything in his power and in other's power too, to get him back to Konoha. And if that wasn't proof of strong feelings then he wasn't sure what was. Smugly, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and threw his rivals a challenging look.

Sakura smiled sweetly and told them that she was now a whole lot nicer to him and that the boy seemed to be a lot happier whenever he saw her. They worked quite well together and Naruto was protective over her.

Sai shrugged his shoulders and said that he had never hated Naruto just because it was a catchy attitude everyone around him emitted and that he didn't shout how stupid the boy was and hit him whenever he was pissy. He also had never betrayed him by thrusting a chidori to his chest and then ran away with a snake pedophile.

Sasuke and Sakura looked defeated for a second.

Since things really weren't getting anywhere they decided to search the boy and ask him themselves.

"Hey, dobe."

"Hi, Naruto-baka!"

"Yo, dickless."

Naruto turned around and wondered if today was some kind of insult-Naruto-fest. He managed a smile to his teammates and a '_hello_'.

His three suitors noticed the hint of sadness on the boy's face, before the all too familiar smile took place again. And for some reason they felt guilty, though they wondered why, after all, they hadn't really done anything. Right? Not yet anyway.

Sasuke smirked deviously.

Sakura snickered evilly.

Sai smiled perversely.

Naruto noticed that something was wrong and took a small cautious step backwards. They didn't notice this as they were too busy glaring at each other after noticing they thought along the same lines.

Too busy glaring; they didn't notice how a stuttering Hinata asked Naruto to join her at Ichiraku, in which Naruto gladly agreed. Taking one last nervous glance at his insane teammates, Naruto left with a blushing Hinata.

The rivals snapped out of their glaring contest when Sai let out an '_ah_' and pointed to the direction where Naruto and Hinata just turned around the corner.

"Fuck!"

It was official. This was war.


	2. A is for advice

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Naruto couldn't help but notice the amount of free ramen he received had increased. Which made him happy of course. Though he knew that eating eight bowls a day might be a bit too much.

Because his growing spurt had went and gone and he'd only grow sideways anymore.

Which was why he was feeling a bit self-conscious at the moment.

He fidgeted under his teammates stares. They were eyeing him like he would do to a bowl of ramen. And it was unnerving.

Was he getting fat? Were they secretly mocking him?

Naruto lifted the hem of his shirt, and to his utmost horror, his six-pack had vanished. He wasn't fat yet but he wasn't in the best shape either.

He glared at his tummy. So what if he was a little out of shape? It was because of ramen! It was forgivable. Besides, it was his teammates who constantly fed it to him anyway, they had no right to criticize him!

Naruto lifted his gaze from his tummy and his eyes widened in horror. There, in their eyes, was a different glint than before. And their stares were directed at his tummy. It wasn't a look he'd give to just any bowl of ramen. It was a look with a glint he'd give to a bowl of _miso_ ramen!

Why were they looking at him like that anyway? Were they hungry? Did they want to eat him?

He let go of his shirt, letting it cover his stomach again, and gasped.

They were fattening him on purpose! And when he was fat enough they'd eat him!

"I'll never let that happen!"

Just as Kakashi appeared with Yamato-sensei, he saw Naruto run back to town with a panicked look on his face. The three students left on the scene looked a bit confused about Naruto's sudden departure.

"You didn't do anything _inappropriate_ to him without me supervising it, did you?"

They shot a glare at their teacher.

"Why are you wasting time on glaring at me? Aren't you gonna chase after him?"

With a competitive glance to each other, they sprinted to the direction Naruto had run off to just now.

With a questioning look, Yamato turned to look at Kakashi, who had already pulled out the latest version of Icha Icha Paradise.

"Weren't we supposed to train?"

"They're freaking strong as it is. Besides, this is amusing."

Yamato-sensei shrugged before going after his companion who had started to walk towards the town.

_-o-o-o-_

If one wanted to draw Naruto's attention span, it wouldn't be very long. For the person in question hardly ever stuck on thinking unnecessary things.

Unnecessary things being almost everything.

And that might leave you thinking that Naruto seldom actually used his brain and _thought_ about things.

But he did.

Because there were things worth thinking about. Like battle strategies. Or his friends. Being Hokage!

Oh, look. He's thinking right now!

'_I'__ve wronged.' _He had stopped running shortly after arriving to town and was now wandering around, with a deep, thoughtful frown on his face.

'_All ramen should be equal. Picking out favourites is wrong.'_

So deep in thought, he failed to notice the ground starting to shake as something ran towards his direction.

He snapped out of it when a hand rested on his shoulder. Startled, he spun around quickly.

"I've broken my pledge!"

His teammates, who were still panting because of their little race, gave him a weird look at his sudden outburst.

"…Idiot."

"I'm no idiot, teme!"

Sakura secretly sneered at Sasuke. He only managed to get the blond angry. She pushed the broody boy out of her way and walked over to Naruto. Wrapping her arms around the boy, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Why did you run away earlier, Naruto?"

She gave a sickeningly sweet smile to her two rivals. Sasuke glared and gritted his teeth at the kunoichi's actions. He'd chidori the girl to another dimension if it weren't for the ANBUs ready to kill him for one wrong move.

Sai wasn't affected; rather, he was inspired. Walking over to the boy, he took his other side and captured the boy to a hug.

"Yeah, why?"

Sasuke clenched his fists so that his knuckles turned white. Of course he wanted to hug the boy too, but would never do it in public. Well not before he'd claimed him for himself and had everyone else in existence know it. After all, he had a reputation to keep.

Naruto just looked slightly nervous. Of course he liked attention but physical contact was still a little foreign to him. What had even driven his teammates to be so cuddly anyway?

He fidgeted a little, trying to pry himself out of the double hug.

"M-maa, maa. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

They let him go. He sighed in relief.

Sakura moved to stand directly in front of him.

"Say. I was wondering… Do you prefer men or women?"

Sasuke and Sai perked up immediately. So she was trying to cut off her rivals. There would probably be a higher chance that Naruto was actually heterosexual. Not that something like that would stop the two males chasing after him.

It would just mean that Sakura was a step ahead of them. Or then it would be the other way around. All three of them waited anxiously for the answer.

Completely forgetting that Naruto was so simple it was actually complicated.

Because Naruto looked at them like they were stupid. Why should he pick a preference between sexes? Did it really matter?

To him, it didn't matter if they were male or female.

"Why should I choose? I like both."

Because Naruto enjoyed having all kinds of friends.

His three suitors blinked.

Naruto was bi?

"Well if you don't mind, I have, uh… stuff to do. See ya!"

And with that the Kyuubi container vanished out of their sight. Giving one last '_he's mine, bitch_.' look to one another, the three suitors went on their own way.

_-o-o-o-_

Sasuke had to admit it. Although he had been adored and sought after almost all his life, he really didn't know how to go about it when it came to him being the pursuer.

Sasuke needed help. Or rather, Sasuke needed advice.

And the first (and only) person he could think of was Kakashi. He had to know something.

Kakashi smiled pleasantly when he found him. He actually shut his book and asked if there was something he could do for Sasuke.

Sasuke felt like he was probably going to regret this for the rest of his life.

_-o-o-o-_

Sakura went over to Ino's. Because that's what girls do. They discuss their relationships. And Ino was perfect for that.

Sakura told her about the situation she was in. Ino sighed and told her that she was trapped in a love square of her own. Though she did admit that Sakura's was a tad bit more complicated. After all, this was about Naruto.

And Naruto tented to be slightly unpredictable.

Their night went by while talking about relationships.

_-o-o-o-_

Sai had turned to his favourite and most reliable source of information: books.

He remembered the former team seven's teacher reading a book where there was a man chasing a woman on the cover. And he had unconsciously drawn his own version of it, where he was chasing Naruto.

Conclusion being, that if he read the book and pictured him and Naruto as the characters, then he would surely get some answers on how to go about it.

So there he was, out in a park, reading through the first volume of Icha Icha Paradise.

Sai furrowed his brow while reading. Naruto (the woman) sure enjoyed kinky activities. Would they work?

He was interrupted by a loud voice.

"So, my boy! You seem to be enjoying my book?"

Sai lifted his gaze and saw a white-haired old man in front of him. He looked pleased about him reading the book. Sai raised an eyebrow.

"You're the author?"

The man crossed his arms over his chest and nodded proudly.

"Then you must know all about love?"

Stopping his earlier nodding, the man closed his eyes and let out a creepy (perverted) laugh that made mothers with their children take a longer route home, and passing ninja to look more alert. Alas, Sai, being already quite corrupted in his own way, didn't react in any way.

"I know all about _making_ love."

Sai stared quite passively for a moment, making the old man wait for a reaction.

'_Close enough.'_

"Tell me all you know."

_-o-o-o-_

Naruto didn't know where the sudden urge to have a very long vacation in Suna suddenly came from.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

Hope you liked this chapter :D

And thanks for all the reviews! Honestly, the amount really surprised me. O.o

But made me happy nontheless! Yay!

Read & Review


	3. R is for rivals

Disclaimer: The characters I'm using aren't mine, you know.

* * *

On the next day whilst training, the three suitors kept competing against each other.

Sasuke tried (many times) to (accidentally) add a permanent scar to Sakura's feminine looks.

Sakura used her _make-the-enemy-look-inferior-to-you _technique on Sai, which she had learned on her fangirl days.

Sai was doing his best to provoke Sasuke to use chidori, which would result to the Uchiha being thrown out of the village.

And during this epic (cat fight) battle between rivals, Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit left out. He sat under a tree with Kakashi and Yamato-sensei and wondered out loud that the three of them seemed to be getting along better nowadays.

For some reason Yamato-sensei quickly turned his head away, preventing Naruto to see his face, and Kakashi laughed.

"You think? I think it's because of you Naru-chan."

Naruto raised an eyebrow to the weird and very _unmasculine_ nickname, then turning back to watch his teammates fight.

…who were so into the battle that they failed to notice the longing look the Kyuubi container watched them with.

_-o-o-o-_

The fight ended when Yamato-sensei meddled it with his weird jutsu. They glared but halted either way.

"Good work! You can go home now."

Kakashi said and closed his book (which in Sai's opinion wasn't as good as the second one of the series).

Naruto slowly stood up and started walking, but had to stop when his friends blocked his path.

"Dobe, would you…"

"Naruto, I was wondering if…"

"Do you want to have…"

They started at the same time and stopped at the same time, ready to rip the two interrupters to pieces. Naruto just looked at them confusedly. But then he remembered something.

"Sorry guys. Can this wait? It's my Neji-day."

The three of them froze to the spot. Neji-day? What the hell?

"Not like you'd notice but ever since I beat him, we've spent some time together when we can. It's usually a day in the hot springs. Neji sure likes to bathe. Eh, guys? Are you okay?"

He could almost see the foam coming out of their mouths. But why would him bathing with Neji have such an effect on them? This was just getting weird…not to mention the fact that Sasuke looking like a rabid squirrel did much to enhance his features.

With wary, cautious steps, Naruto tried to circle around the shocked people, but failed when Sasuke took a firm hold of his hand. All three slowly turned their heads and looked at Naruto with murder written in their gaze which made Naruto shiver…but he really needed to get going.

So with a loud and long shout that consisted of the word '_destiny'_, he startled his insane teammates. His summon call worked, as Neji placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder, bathing items ready in his hands. Naruto smiled at him and quickly left before his teammates realised what had happened.

They were left behind to plan the destruction of the Hyuuga clan.

_-o-o-o-_

Sakura was pissed off. Why do the baths have to be separated for men and women? Well she does get why, but that still didn't make her accept the fact that Naruto was currently bathing with Neji, Sasuke and _Sai_ of all people.

And all she could do was to listen to them from the other side and _imagine_ things. Pressing her ear against the fence, she heard the on going conversation.

"Do you want me to wash your back, Naruto?"

"That would be appreciated, Sai."

She unknowingly fumed along with two males.

"Eh? Sai, I think I can wash that part myself."

Loud crashes and bangs.

"Ouch. I think that was unnecessary Sasuke-kun."

"Go to hell Sai!"

"Um, Sasuke. You can let go of me now. And where did our towels disappear to."

"Uchiha! Stop holding him like that!"

More loud noises.

"Geez guys. I think you're going to have to pay for all this."

A long, seemingly awkward silence.

"I, uh, I'll be going now."

Sakura sighed in relief: Naruto made it out of there without being raped. Not that she would have let it got that far, but still.

She had lost to her rivals in the matter of Naruto's naked skin! But that wouldn't be for long, for she had a plan to have herself a private show of what lied under all the orange Naruto liked to wear.

So she asked if Naruto was willing to teach her the sexy-no-jutsu male version. Because there really wouldn't be any point on teaching a girl the girl version. And Naruto agreed, of course.

They were in the training grounds, alone (Sakura had made sure no bird, tree, sticky gormless child or insect could harm this special moment). She was taught the hand seals to the technique, but since she really wasn't interested in them, she asked if Naruto was willing to strip for her to use as a model.

Naruto just looked at her for a while; making her extremely nervous. Until he gave a small nod. Inner Sakura started doing a happy dance.

She had a hard time trying to control the blood threatening to rush out of her nose when Naruto took his jacket and shirt off, standing before her, bare-chested and looking so muscled and tanned and- oh god. He really had a well-built torso.

But that didn't satisfy her either, after all, her rivals had seen it all. So she demanded that the boy should take his pants off too.

And Naruto obeyed, now standing before her in only his boxers.

As if in a trance she walked closer and ran her hand over those fine muscles. When Naruto asked her what she was up to, she just answered that she was inspecting _details_. (Those fine, _fine_ details.)

This was the extremely awkward moment when Sasuke and Sai decided to suddenly appear on the (sticky gormless child free) scene. Both were furious, Sakura was angry of the interruption and Naruto (as always) was completely clueless.

When Kakashi arrived to the scene with Yamato-sensei, the setting was this:

His whole team was lying on the ground in a heap; Naruto was on the bottom only in his boxers, looking extremely confused, while his three suitors were barking at each other while their hands roamed unrestricted on the blond's body.

Kakashi hardly could contain his laughter, when Yamato-sensei's eyes widened and he performed his jutsu to get the three off of the poor boy.

"You three! D-don't g-gang rape him." Kakashi managed to say in between splutters of his laughter.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kakashi. Why would they rape me?"

Naruto had stood up and was putting his clothes on, looking at Kakashi expectantly. The three murmured a sigh of relief at Naruto's thickheadedness, but at the same time slightly surprised that the object of their affections knew the meaning of _rape_.

If you think about it… it would make things easier if the boy was aware of the sexual terms. It would mean that he wasn't _completely_ clueless.

_-o-o-o-_

They didn't see Naruto for the next two days and they couldn't help but wonder what the boy was up to. The lack of Naruto on their searches for him resulted to the three of them to watch each other. Because if they couldn't find him, they'd make sure their rivals wouldn't either.

And that resulted to them arguing (again). The villagers gave them odd looks as they were doing just that in the middle of a busy street. But they ignored everything around them completely.

Even Naruto, who walked past them with three small children following his every move.

_-o-o-o-_

They received a message from Tsunade, the current Hokage, telling them that one of them was going to be thrown out of the team. Because it was originally supposed to be a three man team…until Sasuke made everything complicated. Silly Sasuke.

All of them were happy, because one of their rivals was going to be thrown out and that meant that he or she had less time with Naruto. At the same time they were concerned that it would be _them_ that the Hokage decided to kick out.

So, they gathered at the Hokage tower expectantly and noticed (once more) the lack of Naruto in the room.

Tsunade lifted her gaze from the pile of paperwork and gave them an amused smile.

"You don't need to look so worried."

But of course they were worried! None of them wanted to leave the team that Naruto was in. And Tsunade solved that problem rather well.

"Congratulations. You three are now a team."

For it was Naruto who left…

* * *

_To be continued... _

I really don't have anything to say... except that I am really tempted to write foursome. :'D

Read and review


	4. U is for underage

Disclaimer: I still don't own it.

* * *

Miranda is a very sweet girl whose dream is to grow up to be strong like Tsunade-sama, and to be an ANBU version of her. She likes to hear blood filled stories of ninja missions and wonders if it is difficult to wear a skirt during missions. She insists that people will call her by her nickname Mira. With perfect shoulder length black hair, innocently blue eyes and a sweet smile, the girl hides her surprisingly murderous nature.

Niko is a very lively boy who isn't sure about his dreams yet. He keeps on talking about something until he forgets the point and drifts from the original subject and in the end spaces out, mouth hanging open with a dreamy expression on his face. This boy has short brown spiky hair and chocolate brown eyes that look at everything innocently.

Takuho is a very uninspired boy, scanning his surroundings with a rather bored gaze. He became a ninja because he had nothing better to do. He likes to take long baths. The boy has a bit longer spiky hair than his teammate and it's black like the others, and his grey eyes keep watching the boy who can't stop talking (and when he stops he kicks him to wake the boy out of his daze).

Their instructor kept on smiling at the three of them. Mira and Takuho doubted if their teacher really was at Jounin level, because he looked too innocent and happy and was wearing _orange_ of all colors, while they all had chosen earthy colors. And the smile he gives just screams _idiot. _

Their opinion changed though, after the little '_survival training'_ where they had to get two bells from their teacher. It turned out to be downright impossible when he kept on doing the most weird and amazing stunts and at end of the day, they had failed to get the bells. The blond's smile never faltered though, and he happily told them that they passed anyway.

The next day, when they were having a _congratulations-for-passing_ party at the training grounds and as the day went on, even Takuho was affected by the smile and started to feel fondness over their new sensei.

So when a _Bad-guy_, a _She-devil_ and a _Rapist_ suddenly emerged from the bushes, they instantly drew out their weapons, jumped in front of their teacher and told him to run away, conveniently forgetting the fact that he was (probably) more than qualified to beat the devil spawn up by himself.

The Bad-guy looked torn between being amused and pissed off.

The She-devil looked like she couldn't decide whether to cuddle them or to rip their kidneys out.

The Rapist looked like he was about to rape someone. (Well…duh.)

And all they could do was to gulp and run behind their teacher (conveniently remembering the fact that he was (probably) more than qualified to beat the devil spawn up by himself), cling to him and send glares to keep the intruders away from him. They didn't get why their innocent teacher wasn't intimidated by the high level freaks that had arrived.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here? And stop scaring my students!"

The three newcomer's gazes turned to their sensei and their expressions change to ones that looked like they wanted to eat him. And the three children tried to glare harder.

The pink one dared to take a step closer.

"Naruto, why did you leave the team?"

"Because someone had to leave. And besides, I didn't belong."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you all start with an S and I'm the only one starting with a different letter so it's only natural that I leave. S-team, go!"

The three looked bothered about something.

"That's the stupidest reason I've ever heard, dobe."

"You don't have to do this… just name any of us and then come back."

Their instructor looked at his desperate, newly attained students and then smiled again.

"Naw, it's okay. I'm their teacher right now and it's all good, right guys?"

The three nodded, Mira giving a smug look to the ones offering to take him away. She'd have to train hard to keep them away.

_-o-o-o-_

After having dismissed class, Naruto was walking towards the Hokage tower because his ex-teammates had said she wanted him there.

"So... why are you all following me?"

"Just making sure you don't get lost on your way there, dobe."

"I thought I could go and see Tsunade-sama while I'm at it."

"Because walking behind you gives me quite a nice view."

"I'm curious to see what sensei will do in self-defence if someone were to _harass_ him."

"I wanna help Mira!"

"I have nothing better to do…"

Naruto gave his stalkers a suspicious glare before continuing walking. Mira tried to fall into his steps behind him, in attempt to cover the 'nice view' the Rapist was talking about.

When they reached the Godaime's office, they were all greeted by a surprise.

"Gaara!"

And the three older stalkers growled, leaving the younger ones to stare at the red-headed _Murderer _in confusion. Mira's cheeks turned red from the delightful aura the boy was emitting.

"It's been ages! How are you?"

"Fine."

Naruto kept on hanging onto Gaara's neck and it didn't make Sasuke happy. Especially not when Gaara's hand sneaked its way to rest on Naruto's bum.

"Oi Sabaku! Care to lift that hand of yours?"

Gaara didn't comply, only gave a hint of a smirk.

"Eh? What's wrong, teme? It's okay because we understand each other, being containers and all, right, Gaara?"

The leader of Suna didn't really get the point of what his fellow demon container had just said, but nodded anyway. The last Uchiha looked furious for a moment before he walked closer and placed his hand on the boy's bottom, right next to Gaara's, giving a slight squeeze for good measure.

Naruto's eyes widened and he gave a tiny squeak.

"It's okay, dobe. Since us both grew up without parents. You understand that, right?"

And all Naruto could do was to nod uncertainly. Sakura and Sai refused to be left out of this fun. And the hand-free space on Naruto's behind became a little limited.

"I was there for you when Sasuke left. We both felt the same."

"We're both emotionally retarded in a way, so this is justified."

"Um, what does any of that have anything to do with you touching my ass?"

Tsunade watched the scene with mild amusement. Because the situation really _was_ kind of funny, but then, it's _her _Naruto they kept on molesting. And she didn't want people molesting her innocent adopted younger brother.

"Hands off all of you!" She commanded. "Naruto, you should take your students back home now."

Naruto nodded and left with the three children. The four molesters left in the room snapped their fingers in disappointment. And the Hokage didn't look happy. Not happy at all.

* * *

_To be continued..._

Sorry about the OC's. I just needed a team for Naruto. They won't appear that much in the future : )

Well, Read and Review. Because it's fun! And Pink! Wooo


	5. T is for teasing

Discleimer: Are you still doubting me?

* * *

After having to hear an unnecessarily long rant from the Hokage on how they should not molest Naruto, the three of them left the office, sighing in defeat. She had threatened to severely punish them if Naruto ever got raped or came to complain about molestation.

But that wasn't the problem, really. All they had to do was not to get caught. And that is practically what ninja do. They don't get caught.

No, the problem was Naruto as always. It was so easy to molest him, and what was even worse, was that the boy was so oblivious he didn't even notice! That made him extremely vulnerable to attacks.

They completely ignored the fact that they were the attackers, of course.

Well, maybe he wouldn't let just anyone touch him; at least they could be sure that complete strangers kept their dirty hands off their him blond.

Really wanting to get rid of competition, Sasuke glared at Sai who was walking beside him and asked when he was going to leave. It's not like he was originally from Konoha anyway.

Sai gave him a frown and asked when Sasuke was going to marry some pretty girl and restore his clan.

Sakura laughed when she saw Sasuke's eye twitch, not stopping even when both of the boys turned to glare at her. Sasuke snorted and asked if Sakura was aware that the dobe's crush on her was just a cry for attention and that he doesn't really mean anything when he asks her on dates.

Sakura stopped laughing and joined the glare-fest.

The thick air of rivalry slowly lessened as they parted ways.

_-o-o-o-_

Sasuke knows it's love. Naruto is the only special person left in his life. Even when his mind was darkened from thoughts of Itachi, thoughts of Naruto pushed though, making the world seem a little brighter.

And he knows that even if he grows old and bald and less attractive, Naruto wouldn't mind. He'd just keep standing beside him, talking nonsense as always. And Sasuke would listen.

Sasuke was sure, so he decided to use the tips he received from Kakashi.

Kakashi said that he should show simple affection, like hold his hands, glomp him occasionally and whisper sweet things into his ear. Truth be told, Sasuke had been surprised the gentleness of his teacher's advice. He had expected something like '_throw him to the ground and ravish him_'. Still, beggars couldn't be choosers, and though he really wanted to be able to blame his sensei when the inevitable happened and his libido couldn't take it any more…he'd try and keep things under control.

He refused to literally do what Kakashi had suggested but got the basic idea. So at the same evening, he went to the dobe's house, sneaked in through his window (which was open…tsh, Naruto should be more careful. We're talking about a village full of sneaky ninja bastards here, for god's sake.) and saw the boy already asleep on his bed. Smiling a little, he removed his clothes, leaving his boxers on, and laid down next to Naruto.

Naruto shifted a little, opening his eyes sleepily and looked at Sasuke with confused eyes. Sasuke just said that he was feeling lonely; an excuse he knew Naruto would accept without questions. Furrowing his brows he added that Naruto better not tell anyone about this.

Naruto just smiled and drifted back to sleep, letting Sasuke sleep beside him. The latter kept watching the sleeping one, caressing his cheek and whispering sweet nothings to the unconscious boy.

The morning wasn't as peaceful. Someone came knocking on the door and the two boys who overslept went into panic. Naruto, because of the lack of decent clothing and Sasuke, because he didn't want to be seen here, at least not yet.

So Naruto rushed and Sasuke hid in the closet, reminding Naruto not to tell anyone.

And as the front door was closed and the Uchiha was left alone in the blond's apartment, Sasuke found it kind of funny that he had to literally come out of the closet.

_-o-o-o-_

Sakura knows it's love. Naruto makes the many little butterflies in her stomach go wild and every time his smile is directed at her, she can't help but let the radiating happiness affect her too. Being around him makes her flustered and comfortable at the same time, and Naruto makes Sakura feel safe and protected.

And she knows that even if she'd fall ill and became weak, Naruto would be there, supporting her through all of it, that smile of his never faltering. And she would smile back.

Sakura was sure, so she would do some of the things she had discussed over with Ino.

On the next morning after her latest departure with her rivals, she went to knock on Naruto's door. There were a lot of noises coming from inside, but she didn't really care about them. It was Naruto after all and it was a given that he was loud in everything he did.

They boy opened the door after awhile, looking quite adorable with his ruffled clothes and I-just-woke-up hair. She resisted the squeal about to burst out, giving a smile instead and asked if the boy wanted to go to town with her. He took a nervous glance behind his shoulder before agreeing, a smile growing on his face.

They walked and they talked, he jokeed and she laughed. Sakura tried hard to be herself; since that's what Naruto liked about her if his crush had been real (Sasuke's words had left her wondering). But it proved to be hard,_ trying_ to be yourself when you just should be yourself.

So she was left thinking over things like should she hit the boy when he said something stupid, because that would be like her. Then again she really didn't want to hurt the boy.

This all led to Naruto looking at her worriedly, asking if she was feeling all right. She just made a quick excuse to see Tsunade and fled, embarrassed.

_-o-o-o-_

Sai knows its love. Naruto makes him_ feel_ something other than physical needs. Naruto's happy attitude makes his stomach clench uncomfortably, and when Naruto's bright blue eyes stare directly at his, he can't help but feel like there's something in them, something Sai has never had but had been maybe unconsciously wanting for awhile.

And he knows that no matter what he says to the boy, he would be there for him, reminding how to smile, how to _feel_ genuinely.

Since Sai really didn't know how to go about feelings and after having bizarre results on just boldly confessing, he decided to go with Icha Icha Paradice author's advice. He had been taught that even if the boy was dense as hell, his body wasn't. It knew what it wanted, and if given, then the mind would (probably) follow soon after.

So Sai snatched Naruto for himself on the evening, a day after the Hokage's rant, asking if he wanted to watch a movie with him. Naruto looked worriedly to the direction of the Hokage tower before agreeing happily.

The movie Sai had rented was slightly more than erotic, and as the movie went on he watched with satisfaction as Naruto became to react. He leaned in closer, observing that Naruto's body indeed knew what it wanted. He should use more those things the old man had taught him.

Leaning in even more, he aimed for the bulge in Naruto's pants. The boy let out a small '_eep_' and tried to protest when Sai proceeded on giving him a blowjob. Sai ignored the protests and just did what he was about to do.

When it' was over, Naruto looked at him with half lidded eyes, which made a spark of excitement grow in Sai. He tried to remind himself that people rarely enjoy being raped outside fictional fantasy books.

After the movie was over, Naruto quickly left, too embarrassed to even say goodbye, leaving Sai to take care of his own grown problem.

_-o-o-o-_

The next day Naruto was being followed again by the three of them. Naruto didin't get why his friends insisted on walking behind him. That is, until he himself checks out the behind of some _very well_ shaped woman. His eyes widened as realization hit him, quickly turning around to stare at his former teammates.

And they were staring right back. Were they checking him out? All of them? Naruto quickly made up an excuse and dashed off, leaving behind three disappointed suitors.

_-o-o-o-_

When exactly two hours had passed since his hasty escape, there was a knock on Naruto's door. He immediately perked up from his freaked out state, thinking that it was probably Iruka. It's not like many people, except Iruka, came to knock on his door.

So when Naruto opened the door and saw his three former (very persistent) teammates, he couldn't help but regret opening the door.

They looked quite demanding, which was unnerving him even more. But before Naruto could get even more freaked out, and before any of his suitors could open their mouth, Naruto's eyes closed and familiarly unfamiliar chakra filled the room.

"I'm sick of you."

They shivered. It wasn't really Naruto who said it but still…

"Lovesick little kitlings, coming here to demand if he feels something back. You really assume he knows what love is?"

Naruto opened his eyes and they were blood red with slitted pupils. The look in them wasn't dangerous, just plain annoyed.

"And what does the mighty demon know about human emotions?" Sasuke dared to ask, his voice full of sarcasm. Kyuubi looked unaffected by this, though it didn't stop being pissed off.

"Maybe a bit more that that kid over there," he said pointing at Sai.

"Ne, Kyuubi. Do you know how Naruto feels about us?"

Sakura looked hopeful, getting the courage to speak normally to the demon after Sasuke's demonstration.

"…"

"Would you tell us?"

"Other that being freaked out? Tch, I'll tell you this much. If he combines what he feels for you three then it would close to love."

"Probably," he added after awhile. The three kept staring at him, not sure of what to say. Kyuubi didn't really have anything worth to mention except '_back the hell off, you're annoying_' so he proceeded on closing the door to their faces.

But not before giving a playful smirk and adding.

"Oh, and I can imagine you doubting this, but he isn't a virgin. Hasn't been for a long time."

* * *

_To be continued... _

I got toothpaste in my eye


	6. O is for observation

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

* * *

Naruto wasn't a virgin.

He wasn't. That's what Kyuubi had said. Now, this piece of information shouldn't have been that shocking, really. It just meant that Naruto had sex before.

But then again, you need another person (or more than that) to have sex. Which meant that _someone_ had banged Naruto before. Who was it? When, why, how?

The suspicious glances shared between the three rivals were proof enough that it wasn't any of them.

Their image of a totally innocent blond was shattered now. They were a bit disappointed of the boy being more experienced than them.

More experienced since Sasuke had been a cold asexual bastard, Sakura had been too obsessed with Sasuke, then training and then Naruto, and Sai had always received negative feedback on not putting even the tiniest bit of emotion into it.

It didn't fit their image at all. It was only natural to assume that Naruto didn't know about the bees and flowers.

"But that's not really the problem here, is it now?"

The two males turned to look at their pink-haired rival.

"What do you mean, hag?"

"Kyuubi was kind of loose. Don't you think that's dangerous?"

"Hn, all it did was mess up this situation more."

"Stupid! Naruto might be in danger!"

Shortly after shouting it, Sakura was racing towards the Hokage tower along with her two teammates.

They burst in through the door, obviously not bothering to knock before entering. Tsunade looked up from her papers and lifted an eyebrow at the three Naruto molesters.

"And what do I owe for this pleasure?"

Sakura stepped forward, trying to catch her breath.

"Hokage-sama. We just went to Naruto's apartment and when he opened the door, it was Kyuubi who answered."

"No, no. It was Naruto as Kyuubi, not Kyuubi itself." Sai tried to correct her.

"More like Kyuubi as Naruto." Sasuke butted in.

"Wait, so he went into a rampage and destroyed half of the town?"

"No! It was more like Kyuubi just took over Naruto's body and talked to us."

"Talked, huh? What did it say?"

"It told us that Naruto's not…"

Two hands quickly covered Sakura's mouth. She looked a bit annoyed before realizing what she was just about to say to the Hokage. Sasuke glared at her before clearing his throat.

"It didn't say anything worth mentioning."

"Well it must be something dire if the demon fox came and said it itself! Now spit it out."

"Listen here, Hokage-sama. All it did was play with our minds and tell us to scram. We came here to ask if Naruto's in danger because the demon actually got that much freedom."

She glared at the Uchiha boy.

"You aren't in a position to show me any kind of disrespect, Uchiha. But anyway, I'll call Naruto over to see if there's something wrong."

Tsunade called Shizune and told her to get Naruto in her office, and then she resumed doing the pile of paperwork on her desk, trying to ignore the three idiots who still were in her office. The ignoring didn't go too well as she grew more and more annoyed by the second.

She lifted her gaze and glared at the new team 7.

"Dismissed."

But not one of them made even a tiniest movement towards the door. Sai stared at her for awhile and then opened his blunt mouth and asked if she was going to tell Naruto to strip in order to examine him. His teammates didn't say anything but seemed to wait an answer to that question too. Tsunade had used her last drop of patience.

"Out!"

_-o-o-o-_

Naruto had a hard time dragging himself into the Hokage's office. Going outside meant he might run into _them_.

He was so totally confused by his three ex-teammates. One moment they were ignoring him and the other they were checking him out. Or then he had imagined the whole thing and everything was normal. Or then it was all just a dream.

"**Yes, kit. It's just a dream. You're fucking high."**

Naruto scowled at the sarcasm.

"Why are you talking to me?" The fox didn't answer. Not that Naruto had expected it to. Their conversations never were longer than the previous one. Ususally the fox just came to laugh at his misery or make a point on how idiotic he had been. That sarcastic, sadistic, sardonic, poor excuse of a furry…_thing_.

Naruto didn't know what to do. It seemed like his three friends got along better than ever. They were almost always together when Naruto had seen them. It almost felt like…

Sasuke had found a new best friend in Sai.

Sakura was still crushing at Sasuke, trying to spend every waking minute with him.

Sai had used him as a springboard on his way to the more emotional world, now practising them on others.

It did feel a tad bit lonely, though the way they still kind of hung around him made him feel not so left out. Though he still couldn't place them staring at him anywhere in his theory.

Maybe he'd just give them time and ask for a longer mission for him and his team.

Nodding to agree with himself, he fastened his pace, approaching the Hokage tower.

_-o-o-o-_

"What did you want, baba?"

Tsunade didn't look offended by the nickname, more concerned about something as she stared at him. It made Naruto panic slightly, fearing that something was wrong.

"I heard Kyuubi got loose. Not in a dangerous way but still. Do you know anything about it?"

Naruto's shoulder slumped slightly. And here he thought it was going to be something more dramatic.

"Yeah, it does that."

"You make it sound like it's not a big deal."

Naruto scratched his cheek and smiled sheepishly.

"You know that it can take control when I'm having strong emotions. When I opened my door I was kinda experiencing strong feelings but since it wasn't like I was in battle or anything I didn't go on rampage. Actually, I kind of let him take over. Call it a self-defence mechanism, if you will."

Unknown to the blond, there were three extra pairs of ears listening to the conversation under Tsunade's window. All they had heard was that the boy had had strong emotions when he opened the door to them. It must've been love! The boy actually was in love with one of them!

A glare was shared between the three rivals, soon dismissed as the conversation continued.

"So you made it get rid of a situation you thought you couldn't handle?"

"Yup!"

"I wouldn't sound so proud of it, brat. But whatever, do you know what it said to them?"

"I was kinda in hiding so I didn't listen."

"So what did you feel you opened the door and saw them?"

The three eavesdroppers waited eagerly for the answer, leaning closer while trying to push the other two away.

"Panic."

Tsunade could hardly contain her laughter, especially when she heard a loud thud outside her window. She was kind of relieved to know that her Naruto was somewhat aware of his suitors intentions. Or then not, but at least he subconsciously knew to be wary of them.

Her window shattered and three ninja hopped into her office. Her pink-haired student apologised about the window before joining her two rivals on capturing an escaping Naruto. When they succeeded on capturing the squirming boy, they left the same route they had entered.

Tsunade just blinked after the four had disappeared from her office.

Her Naruto just got ninja-napped.

For a moment she wondered if she should send ANBU's after team 7 to ensure the blond's safety. But it wasn't like he was in real danger. And even if he was, there was always Kyuubi and that wonderful Rasengan. Her adopted brother would be alright.

She decided to tell that to herself a couple more times before she actually believed it herself.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

Next time I shall reveal who did who and why and what!?

Thanks for all the reviews! I love every word you wrote X3


	7. gets kidnapped

Disclaimer: Just borrowing Kishimoto's characters to make this fictional story.

* * *

"Let me down! HEEEELP!"

Many turned to look but no one did anything after seeing three very unpleasant glares. The blond captive was being very loud and it was becoming a tad difficult to keep him in place. In fact, it took all three of them to carry him around.

"Kidnapping! Robbery! Rape!"

"You know, dobe. I doubt that'll work if you keep changing the crime."

"Stupid bastard! It's all the same! Heeeelp! What the hell are you even doing?"

Even some ANBU watched the scene; quite helpless on what to do. The one pleading for help was Hokage-sama's favourite, they knew, but they hadn't received any orders to rescue the boy. And without orders, there was no way they'd just volunteer to deal with those three monsters currently carrying him.

Iruka, who just happened to be around the corner, heard the commotion. He scowled at the ruckus someone was making, and decided to go and take a look. To his utter horror, he saw Naruto and his former teammates.

Now, he had heard the rumours of people trying to court his all time favourite student, but didn't pay that much attention to them. Now he wished he had, wanting to be there for Naruto and shoo away those rumoured suitors.

"Naruto!"

"Iruka-sensei!"

"Naruto!"

"Iruka!"

Both males looked at each other with watery eyes, trying to reach the others hand. It was unsuccessful as Naruto was still being held captive and Iruka was stuck in the crowd. People made way when Iruka had made his target clear. Rushing to the slight opening people had left to the four (no one dared to go too close), Iruka was about to attack the enemy but stopped.

Sasuke, Sakura and Sai were looking at him with a strange glint in their eye that promised that they wouldn't hold back if he interfered.

He gulped audibly. To be honest, he was more than aware that he was no match to them. But Naruto obviously needed rescuing.

"Don't do anything rash, Iruka-sensei! I don't want you to be hurt because of me!"

The audience gasped. Iruka held his hands in front of his mouth, trying to fight off his tears and think of something to do.

"N-Naruto. I can't just leave you in the clutches of those devils!"

Some women in the crowd also had a hard time trying to muffle their sobs caused by the overly emotional scene.

"It's okay Iruka. You've done so much for me! Thanks for everything!"

"Naruto!"

"Would you two just shut up! It's not like you're dying, Naruto!"

Sakura shouted, glaring at the weeping audience which quickly dried their tears and started to do whatever it was they were supposed to be doing while still avidly watching the five ninja.

"Look, Mr. Dolphin. We're just borrowing him a little." Sai tried to assure the brown-haired man.

"Looks more like you're forcibly taking him somewhere."

"I promise we won't do anything to hurt him, Iruka-sensei." Sakura said smiling, while still aiding her rivals to carry their catch. Iruka sighed and let them go, feeling guilty when Naruto shot him one last pleading look.

_-o-o-o-_

Naruto wasn't struggling anymore, just letting them carry him wherever. Sulking, however, he did not stop. Not that it bothered his capturers; they thought it was rather adorable.

"Where are you taking me?"

The three stopped. Come to think of it, just where were they going? They shared a look. Naruto caught it.

"So what the hell are you doing then?"

"I guess it was a spur of the moment." Sai said, with that odd little smile of his in place.

"All three of you had that at the same exact time?"

"It's called teamwork, Naruto."

"Whatever. Can you let me down? I promise I won't run away."

His former teammates looked sceptical, but agreed after Naruto pulled the puppy dog look on them. They watched warily if their love would make any sings of escaping, but he didn't. He walked in front of them as usual. All they could stare was his back (or lower back).

"Dobe. Why didn't you just call Kyuubi if you didn't want to be taken away?"

"…"

"Naruto?"

His back was still facing them, so they couldn't see his expression, but saw his shoulders slump a bit.

"Because we're outside and Kyuubi's not very popular. I dunno what the elders would do if they found out."

Sakura glared at Sasuke, scolding him for making the object of their affection upset. She tried to think something to change the topic.

"Naruto, we heard you're not a virgin anymore. Who'd you did it with?"

Everyone stopped walking and went even more silent than before. Sakura blushed a little.

Talk about blunt.

Naruto slowly turned to looks at his friends, eyes slightly wider than usual.

"W-why do you ask, Sakura-chan?"

"So it was true then. Spill it out dobe."

Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest and kept staring at the blond with a humourless expression.

"W-what's it to you, bastard!"

"Look, Naruto-kun. You shouldn't be embarrassed about it, especially after what happened while we were watching that movie."

Sai said, his smile growing even wider when his rivals looked at him with devastated expressions on their faces. Naruto rubbed his neck with his hand and looked to his side, wanting to avoid their gazes.

"I'm not embarrassed. I just don't think it's any of your business."

Just when they all were thinking about ways to make the blond tell, they heard a rather monotone voice speak behind them.

"It was me."

They turned to look at the figure behind them, following him with their gaze as he walked past them and stopped beside their blond. He just smiled brightly.

"Gaara!"

The red-head just nodded in acknowledgement, a little smile gracing his lips.

"The Kazekage? Why?"

Sakura asked still a bit dumfounded by the new revelation.

Naruto looked at Gaara and vice versa.

"That is…"

"Because I asked Naruto what love was."

"And since I usually have to beat people up, while giving them my friendship speech for example, in order for them to get it through their thick sculls, yours being extra thick Sasuke."

"And a good beating it was."

"Thanks, Gaara. So anyway. I had read Icha Icha Paradise before and kind of tried to 'beat' the meaning of love into Gaara…"

"Not that either of us still get it but at least we got a good shag or two."

"More than two I assure you."

The three suitors looked in horror at the two boys having that conversation in front of them. First thought that came to them was '_show me the meaning of love Naruto!'_

But then, to the two boys horror (Sakura didn't really care), they realized that Naruto had been the Seme. But Naruto was totally, completely, with no uncertainty, Uke! Was the boy somewhat aggressive on bed or something?

Well as long as he was as good as Gaara let on, everything would be alright, right?

Sakura took a step forward, about to ask if there was more to their relationship than just being bum buddies, but stopped when a loud noise was heard from the roofs.

"Naruto! How could my student's first one be a man? Be glad I'm forgiving, eve if it's just because you did some girls too while we were training!"

"Shut up Ero-sennin!"

Even Gaara looked a bit surprised. Someone had to tie Naruto down so he wouldn't become more than that perverted sannin!

"It's not my fault you're such a man-whore."

"You're one to speak. What are you doing here anyway, ero-sennin?"

The white-haired Icha Icha author let out a long, creepy laugh before grinning down at his student.

"The smell of love was what drew me to this place! Imagine what a story it would be! One oblivious blond being chased after by five suitors! Girls and boys among them! And on top of that the boy has affairs with a very powerful man! It will be my next bestseller!"

Naruto stared at his teacher for awhile like he was stupid or something. Seriously, that old man was becoming senile.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Tsk, my naïve little student. Can't you see that they all love you?"

Naruto looked at his friends with questioning eyes. They were a bit nervous about the situation they had suddenly gotten into but nodded to the boy, confirming the pervert's statement.

"Uh, thanks. I really like you guys too."

Everyone else was silent; only Naruto's quite happy laugh echoing in the streets.

"Naruto, they said '_love_'."

Naruto blinked at his teacher.

"Yeah."

"It means they_ love_ you."

"Yeah?"

"As in wanting to hold hands, make love, spend time, have a _r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p _with you."

"Eh?... EEEEH!?"

* * *


	8. escapes

Disclaimer: I- stop looking at me like that! I still don't own it and never will!

* * *

Sasuke looked indifferent towards the whole situation, but was obviously avoiding eye contact.

Sakura looked somewhat wistful, nervously tugging her skirt.

Sai just smiled.

And supposedly all three of his friends, currently known as suitors, were in love with him. All of them. In love. With _him_. Naruto couldn't believe it. Who would anyway?

Sasuke rarely spoke even one kind word when it came to Naruto.

Sakura just kept shouting how stupid he was and punched Naruto more than often.

Sai liked to insult his manhood. The most unacceptable crime.

Just where was the love in all that. Love was, according to Naruto that is, when someone shouted it from the top of their lungs, just like he had done to Sakura. Loud and clear and added with a smile. So where were they hiding it?

Behind Sai's insults or Sakura's violence probably. Or in Sasuke's case behind both of them.

Naruto shook his head vigorously.

"I'm thinking too much…"

Jiraiya watched his student with a raised eyebrow, patting his back as an act of comforting. After all, Naruto went from confused to pathetic in a record time, even when one of his suitors was fine lady Sakura. If only he picked her.

Said fair lady just crossed her arms, looking slightly hesitant.

"Don't you have any kind of response to that, Naruto?"

How could he have? Didn't he just tell them how he didn't really know what it was? Looking anywhere but his former teammates, Naruto let out a long sigh.

"I don't think I love any of you."

So blunt. Just what they were expecting of their Naruto. But still, that was harsh. All three looked slightly defeated by it, but Sakura knew from fangirls experience that giving up was not an option. Not that it ever worked on Sasuke ways back.

"Then what about Neji and Hinata?"

Naruto looked at her and blinked.

"What do they have anything to do with this?"

Jiraiya couldn't believe his student's ignorance. Or more like he couldn't believe he was actually so used to it.

"I think they want the same thing from you as these three."

Naruto turned slowly to Jiraiya with a look that was pleading him to tell that it was all a bad joke. He let out a pathetic laugh.

"Them too?"

"You don't look too happy about it."

Naruto turned to look at Sakura again. She seemed a bit sad, and Naruto hated it. He also hated how Sai seemed to have stopped smiling and how Sasuke still wasn't looking at him.

"No, I'm happy, flattered even… but I don't…"

"It okay, Naruto. But just tell me this. Kyuubi said that if you combined how you feel towards the three of us then it might be close to love. So what do you feel?"

Naruto was a bit surprised on what kind of information Kyuubi had told them. In all honesty, Naruto hadn't realised it even himself, but now that he thought about it, maybe the fox was right. If he did combine the feelings then he would probably act like the people did on those romance novels Iruka had made him read.

Realising every eye was on him, he scratched his cheek nervously.

"Umm, I want to make sure Sakura is the happiest person in existence."

Sakura nodded, more or less satisfied. It would only make sense to want to make the person you love the happiest one. Sasuke didn't look too happy about the blond's thoughts when it came to Sakura.

"And after watching that movie with Sai, I think I wouldn't mind, you know... going a bit further."

There was not even a hint of embarrassment on Naruto's features, even when Jiraiya glared at him, not approving of the boy's answer. Sai seemed a little too pleased about this though. Sure, it wasn't love, but at least that meant some sort of relationship. A very satisfying relationship. All who had rebellious hormones when it came to Naruto, even Gaara who was still hanging around, glared.

After awhile, they stopped brooding over the newest confession from the blond, and waited for him to announce how he felt about Sasuke. But Naruto looked quite done with explaining and if they didn't know any better, they'd say he was currently trying to look for an escape route from where he stood.

"What about me?"

Naruto seemed to freeze at Sasuke's voice. He tried to glare at Sasuke but failed quite miserably as his nervousness came through his act.

"W-what does it matter, you arrogant bastard!"

Sasuke's eye twitched in annoyance.

"Just tell me dobe. You already know how I feel. Besides, it can't something as bad as Sai's."

"But it is! I'm sure you'll laugh at me."

Team 7 shared a look. A look they shared when it came to Naruto. And to their misfortune, Naruto took this as an opportunity to flee. Suddenly they were all surrounded by many Narutos. Narutos as far as the eye could see! They had time to blink before all the clones, and the one real Naruto, started to run into different directions.

Sasuke cursed and started to chase after them, knowing that his chances on finding the real one were slim. But he wasn't about to let the boy escape without telling him how he felt. His teammates seemed to think along the same lines as they too chased after the many Narutos.

Jiraiya kind of hoped his student could manage to escape the bloodthirsty demons.

* * *

_To be continued..._

And reviews are love:D


	9. can't decide

Disclaimer: 'tis already the ninth time I say this: I do not own the characters used in this story. There. Go and be happy.

* * *

Sasuke would be an insulting and most likely violent love too. Because that's just the way the two of them were. Nothing would probably change, because Sasuke just wasn't the changing type of person. And when it came to Naruto, Sasuke would just love roughly. Not that he expected anything else from him.

Sakura would be perfect and colourful love. First of all, Sakura was a girl. If he wanted to have a real family she could actually help him with that. Also, they'd been around each other so long, they knew each other almost completely. Though Naruto had to admit, after ears of rejection, he saw her more like a sister. Besides, they would make an amusingly bright couple, all orange and pink.

Sai would be a clueless and perverted love. Both of them were kind of dense and not that innocent minded. That would probably only lead to kinky things. He felt like it wouldn't last very long.

Neji would be destined love. At least according to the said Hyuuga. To be honest, he didn't even know why the proud Hyuuga would fall in love with him. Because he kicked his ass? How romantic.

Hinata would be shy love. To tell the truth, Naruto doubted he'd have anything to talk about with the girl. Not that Naruto would have any trouble on talking for the both of them.

Gaara would be distant love. Because Gaara lived miles away. And Naruto knew that they weren't in love. Everything close to it, yes, but actually in love, no. Besides, lovers were supposed to spend a lot of time together and seeing how Gaara was the Kazekage and Naruto the to-be Hokage, it would be near to impossible.

Naruto hated his situation. It wouldn't have been a problem if only one of them had confessed. Then he would have probably just gone and done it, because he would do anything if it was for his friends. The fact that Naruto didn't love them wouldn't be a problem; he'd just try and try and try until he did. Naruto was, after all, no quitter.

He didn't want to reject any of them, because that would make them sad and he would be the cause.

"So what should I do?"

Takuho paused momentarily from poking the campfire with a stick and looked at his teacher.

"Why are you asking me?"

Against the popular belief, Naruto was actually quite good at escaping when he put his mind to it. So, after having brilliantly evaded his three chasers, he went to see the Hokage and asked for a longer mission to him and his team. Tsunade had been a bit concerned of her baby brother but Naruto convinced her that he was fine.

So after spending his night in the forest (in order to not be found), Naruto went home, packed quickly and left with his team.

"Throw dice to decide!"

Takuho kicked Niko's ankle after seeing their sensei actually considering his idea.

"They should have a bloody battle over you! The last man alive wins!"

Mira was a little bit too cheery saying that. It was hard to tell whether she was joking or actually serious.

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

Mira closed her eyes, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"I don't even know why you're friends with those freaks. I mean, they must be crazy strong and look like they're ready to rip you to pieces if you piss them off somehow."

Niko nodded at her every word. Naruto just laughed and rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"Ain't that the truth!"

His three students were a little worried. They didn't know how strong their sensei was, but they doubted him being able to handle those three, even when he claimed them to be friends.

He would be better off without any of them. That's why they refused to use the movie cliché '_what does your heart say?_'

"Just leave them be and find someone you'll fall in love with. Someone like, say, a perfectly normal commoner town girl."

Takuho and Niko nodded, agreeing with their teammate. If it was someone less threatening, they might entrust their teacher to their care.

"Argh! This is not helping at all."

Naruto sighed in frustration. He'd have to come up with something within a week, because as soon as he stepped through Konoha's gates, they were surely going to corner him, demanding for answers.

And to think that he hadn't even said how he felt about Sasuke. He was sure it would just make the smug bastard's ego grow even more. But he knew he'd have to do it eventually, because let's face it, he knew exactly how far the three were ready to go to get something they wanted, even if they claimed to be in love with the person they would have to rip the answer out of.

Sighing again, Naruto prayed to some gods that he'd have some sort of solution by the end of the week.

* * *

_To be continued... _

**About the voting **

It figures that SasuNaru would prevail. But now I feel bad for those who wanted him with someone else. So I thought I might write alternative endings! So in a way he'd end up with everyone XD

Am I a genius or what? I guess the answer's no.

But anyway. I have so many options with this story! I still could make Naruto end up with anyone! Even Itachi who got 2 votes. That was kinda amazing considering he hasn't appeared in the story at all. XD

Anyway, if I turn out to be too lazy for the alternative endings, there's always my favourite solution to everything. That being _killing_ Naruto and everyone ending up unhappy!

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

:is too lazy to dodge the objects thrown her way:

Read and review!


	10. prepares

Disclaimer: Do you enjoy making me do this, punk? Huh? Fine, I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Naruto's students watched him with raised eyebrows. Though they were probably supposed to be used to this kind of behavior. It was, after all, understandable, considering what their sensei was going through.

Meaning he was currently kind of refusing to step inside Konoha, warily scanning his surroundings while quite noticeably hiding behind the gates. Now, they could have just tried to convince him to move from there, if it wasn't so embarrassing when the gate guards just kept on staring, obviously being quite amused.

Instead, they just decided to leave him there, saying that Naruto could take the mission report to the Hokage by himself. And so, his three students turned around and went home, but not before sarcastically wishing him good luck.

Naruto was left alone, trembling with, even though he hated to admit it, fear. None of his suitors were gentle. Well, except for Hinata. Naruto didn't want to know what would happen to him if he rejected any of them.

Probably something painful.

And even though Naruto was quite used to pain, it didn't mean he would voluntarily get hurt. He preferred to avoid it. And in this case avoiding meant staying away from the lions nest that was Konoha. Really, why did he have to attract a bunch of bloodthirsty psychos? That was unhealthy.

The guards watched as the blond ninja still hadn't moved, his expression changing quite quickly from terrified to brooding to depressed and all that. Poor guards had no idea what was waiting for him in the village.

Having no idea, they had no sympathy either and so, one of them went over to the unmoving shinobi, took a hold of his wrist and dragged him inside the city despite all the protests the blond made.

That is how Naruto gracefully entered Konoha. The journey to Hokage tower was nerve-wracking. He had to scan every face around him, every little suspicious noise made him jump and he even ran away when Konohamaru showed him the Sexy no Jutsu girl threesome! Naruto wouldn't want them catch him ogling on completely random girls at a time like this.

To his most wondrous surprise, he didn't bump into any of his suitors. And he was now standing safely in front of the Hokage's desk no less. She just stared at him, as if calculating his appearance.

"You sure look worn out."

She had no idea…

"Oh, if you're worried about them, they're all on a mission right now. No need to thank me, brat."

Naruto felt like clomping the woman. Now he had time to either run away for good or prepare for when they came back. Of course he couldn't choose the first option. That would be just cowardly and Naruto was no coward. No, he would stand proud and tall and face his suitors head on!

Now, if only he didn't feel so nervous about it.

He'd go to his apartment and plan things through carefully, maybe ask for Shikamaru's help. He was a genius after all, and Naruto would need a genius to minimize the oncoming pain. Or then he'd find a compromise and everyone would be happy.

He still didn't know, but now he had time to fully prepare to face all of them and give them the answer that suited Naruto the best. He was most probably going to hurt some of their feelings anyway, so why not be entirely selfish all the way? It was his life after all. They'd have to be selfish to ask him not to be selfish.

Naruto nodded to himself, full of determination.

Now if only he'd stop being so goddamn nervous.

* * *

_To be continued..._

I know it's cheap and short, but I needed to get it into a situation where everything is possible:D

So from now on, there will be different endings, chapters named after the person Naruto ends up with. I feel like a pimp...

There'll be Sasuke, Sakura, Sai, Neji, Hinata, Gaara, Kyuubi (because that was just too awesome an idea to pass), Itachi (is just love), foursomes and above, a guy named Joe, Mary Sues, Autobots... I think I went too far now. It ended with the foursomes and above.

I think there was even more but I can't remember right now. But let me tell you, that is a hell of a lot endings I'm going to write. Almost as much as there is normal chapters to this story. But who cares. If you want someone else still, feel free to inform me about it and I'll squeeze him/her/it into the list of to-be lovers XD

I _really_ feel like a pimp now...

**Read and review!**


	11. Itachi

Disclaimer: The awesome characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

Naruto liked to consider himself as an optimist. Of course he was. Did he not live his whole childhood hated and yet managed to smile. And to think that even in a situation like this, he wowed to be the Hokage one day. Now that he thought about it, maybe his suitors had been after the to-be his power that was the rank Hokage.

But back to the situation and being the optimist that he claimed to be. There had to be _something_. Like say, now he wasn't going to get hurt by rejected love-seekers, but killed by a shady organisation, also known as Akatsuki.

Oh yes, Naruto had gotten himself into deep trouble by doing absolutely nothing.

It's a long story, thought it is actually quite short, but I don't feel like telling you, so here it goes.

Naruto was sitting on top of Yondaime's head, and by that I mean the Hokage monument. Completely minding his own business, only thinking through all his options, just like he had planned to do ever since he learned all his suitors were still on missions and he had time. Oh, lovely time.

That is until Itachi and his blue shark of a man partner, Kisame, just happened to appear behind him, none too good intentions in mind. For a brief moment Naruto wondered how the hell they could just walk in there like it was nothing, but then realised. Oh yeah, it was _Itachi_, an _Uchiha_. They were _special_.

Well fuck.

That being the last thought Naruto could manage before he so wisely decided to look into Itachi's eyes and fall victim to his Sharingan. That wasn't the most pleasurable experience, mind you.

And when he woke up, what do you know; there he was, in a forest, accompanied with a weasel and a shark-man-thingie. Things didn't look too good for Naruto, not at all. So he decided to do the right thing and challenge the two S-rank missing nins into a fight!

Oh, how amused Kisame was. So very amused. Unlike Itachi who just didn't do amused.

"And what do you think are the odds on you winning against the two of us?"

"Zero percent," was Naruto's immediate reply.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the so very proud way the Kyuubi container had said it. Naruto thought the chances of Kisame choking on his own spit from all that laughter were pretty high.

"I don't care, just fight me!"

Even if he had hardly any chance of winning by himself, being killed in a battle against Aatsuki members was better than… being killed by the Akatsuki while they were sucking the Kyuubi out of him. But his opponents seemed to be aware of this also.

"Ah, shut up you."

Kisame said, having finally tamed his amusement.

"We can't risk fighting you Naruto-kun. As we have observed you-"

"You mean stalked."

Naruto cut Itachi's speech, crossing his arms in front of his chest and giving a sceptical look.

Itachi just shrugged. '_Whatever work for him._'

"As we have _stalked_ you, you are quite rash when in battle and we'd probably end up killing you. Not to mention that self harming justu you have. Quite inconvenient."

Kisame was smiling again, shoving a row of, er, _well sharpened_ teeth.

"Yeah. We need you alive so we can kill you later."

Well this was just peachy. The two of them would avoid battle with him no matter what. And if Naruto attacked them anyway, the result was usually sprawling with Kisame until he just sat on the blond (that heavy bastard) and that wasn't nice at all. So Naruto pretty much just tagged along with them. But not quietly, no.

He had a plan. A plan to kill himself before they reached the Akatsuki headquarters. He planned to perish by annoying Itachi to homicide!

"So, Itachi. That Sharingan of yours… you'll create your own alternative world and control it, right?"

Itachi didn't reply, just continued walking forward, obviously doing a very good job ignoring their noisy captive. Kisame was listening the conversation, or rather, Naruto's monologue, with great interest.

"Assume one of you lot is a pervert and created quite the world for your enemy. I heard that Kakashi-sensei got '_thrusted_' by '_swords_'. By thousands of Itachi's. And to think I was worried why he was smiling in his coma."

Itachi didn't react in any way, which was quite disappointing. Naruto let out a frustrated sigh and Kisame was twitching, trying to keep himself from laughing out loud.

That shark thingie was Naruto's second option, but he turned out to be too easygoing for even Naruto to annoy. Maybe that was part of the Akatsuki training. To not to be affected by the annoyingness of ones captives, therefore lowering the chance of unintentional homicides. Naruto snapped his fingers in disappointment. Of course, just his luck.

So now all that there was to do was to try and think the positive sides of his situation.

1# He got rid of the situation pestering him back at home.

2# He'd get to know who cared for him when/if he was rescued.

3# The weather was rather nice.

4# Itachi wasn't half bad-looking…

Naruto had many times wished he'd have a family. Though he admitted that this was the first time he wanted to be part of one specific family. Oh, what he'd give to be a Hyuuga and have the Byakugan to see what was underneath that not body flattering robe of the Akatsuki members. Naruto had a feeling it was a waste that Itachi was wearing one.

That's why he kept on clinging to Itachi, trying to take it off from now and then. Of course, Itachi somehow managed to always stop his intentions by doing nothing, and pushed Naruto away without him even realising. But that didn't stop him from clinging on the man again. And again.

In the end, Itachi didn't even bother to shove him off anymore, just let Naruto sit on his lap or hang off of his arm. Itachi didn't mind even when Naruto one time crawled under his robe while he was just coolly standing still.

Kisame was having the time of his life.

_-o-o-o-_

It took them a good while to get back to Akatsuki headquarters, no thanks to the blond Kyuubi container. But as they arrived to the said destination, standing on a cliff with the sun shining from behind them creating only three cool silhouettes and all that, what they saw was a current battleground.

The Akatsuki members were fighting against Konoha shinobi, and would you look at that, if Naruto squinted his eyes, he could make out a murderous looking Sasuke, a raving Sakura and a Sai looking Sai.

And suddenly he felt like crawling under Itachi's robe again.

"Well, this is rather unfortunate."

Itachi sure didn't seem concerned about the situation. The organisation he had been part of was obviously losing this battle. The power of love was scary.

And Naruto didn't feel like going down there after he had followed Itachi here without much protests. Those three would probably kill him and _after that_ hug him, crying happily that he was safe and not killed by the Akatsuki.

Naruto shuddered, stealing a glance of the still uninterested looking Itachi. Kisame seemed rather calm too.

"Aren't you gonna go and help out?"

"With two legendary Sannins there and other for some reason quite determined shinobi? I don't think so."

Naruto could understand that. He was their ally and even he didn't want to go. But this seemed to be the end of Akatsuki's plans. Wouldn't that mean..?

"Does that mean you'll let me go?"

That was the first time he saw a change in Itachi's expression. A smirk grew on the man's lips.

"No, I think I'll keep you."

He then turned around to walk into the opposite direction the fighting took place, Kisame following him. Naruto looked between them and his gone berserk friends. Shrugging his shoulders, Naruto also turned around to follow Itachi and Kisame.

"Hey Itachi! Since your not practically part of the Akatsuki anymore, you'll take that robe off, right?"

"No, it's comfortable."

Naruto pouted. He really wanted to see what was under it. Well, that would be Itachi, obviously, but he wanted to see Itachi. So he just fastened his pace to walk behind Itachi and lifted the hem of the robe, revealing Itachi's assets. Itachi didn't bother to stop this, only continued to walk forwards. Naruto shared an approving look with Kisame.

And so began the adventures of a feared group that consisted of a weasel, a shark and ramen topping, who actually never topped.

* * *

**-END 1-**

The first ending was supposed to be Sasuke but I felt like doing Itachi, so... Itachi it was! And I had weird mental images of Naruto crawling under Itachi's robe. XD ZOMG! Cute!

And is it just me or did this turn out to be a threesome with KisaItaNaru? I'm not sure, but I swear that wasn't my intention.

Oh, and please ignore the fact that why Itachi hadn't been killed by Sasuke, or why Sasuke wasn't out to kill him. I didn't feel like thinking up such complicated explanations.

Anyway! Don't be lazy and **review**


	12. Sasuke

Disclaimer: Just what are you accusing me of? I already said I don't own the characters.

* * *

S-team was back in Konoha. Their mission hadn't been that long, considering the only time taking factor had been the travelling. Eliminating enemies hardly took any time at all.

They had gotten along surprisingly well during the mission. Meaning Sasuke had barely said anything, Sakura had been cheery and Sai just was the Sai he always was. But that was obviously because of the lack of Naruto. It was odd what love could to team spirit.

So, as they now were back, though dirty, tired and still somewhat covered in blood, they threw a challenging look at each other while stepping through the gates. But the truth was, Naruto had run away from them. Without saying anything, no less.

And the Godaime had the nerve to say that Naruto needed to get a break from them chasing him, thus she had given him a mission.

Remembering that made their shoulders slump and the last bit of energy saved for rivalry left their bodies. Without further glaring and such, they just waved at their teammates and went home.

_-o-o-o-_

Naruto woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn't because of a nightmare, no. He had learned to tame them a long time ago. Instead, it was on a reflex that he woke up, whenever his weird sleeping habits took place, again. Somehow he usually ended pulling his blanket to cover his face, leaving his feet bare, making them freeze.

And Naruto didn't enjoy having his feet freeze. It disturbed his sleep. So he usually just sat up like a zombie, shuffled the blanket back over his feet where it was supposed to be, and then unceremoniously slumped on his back and fell asleep instantly.

But not tonight, because as Naruto stared sleepily at his bare feet, it suddenly struck to him. Of course, _of course_! It must be Sasuke who he'll choose. Sasuke was perfect in every single way, ignoring how they fought all the time and other insignificant stuff.

Naruto nodded to himself and thanked his bare feet, which were currently complaining about the cold, but Naruto just ignored them. After all, it wasn't everyday, or night, that he would admit that Sasuke was the best and Naruto would put a lot of effort and try and return his feelings.

Without much more thinking, Naruto ran outside his apartment and headed over to Sasuke's, still in his pyjamas. It didn't matter much to him; he was intending to spend the night after all.

_-o-o-o-_

Knocking on the avenger's door didn't do much good. Nor did all the yelling. Or the pounding. The nonexistent doorbell. Kicking, punching, licking, pleading, waiting.

It just didn't open. And Naruto was starting to get worried that Sasuke wasn't even home, even when Tsunade said that they should be back by now.

Sighing in defeat, Naruto was just about to leave when he saw a lightly ajar window. A mischievous smile grew on his face. If the door didn't welcome him, the window sure as hell did. Though, Naruto was a bit worried that it might welcome ninja burglars or assassins too.

Not being either of them, nor any other threat to the Uchiha, Naruto decided to invite himself in. It was a second floor window but that was no problem to an awesome ninja like Naruto.

Sliding in silently, he cleverly concluded that the room was Sasuke's bedroom, considering there just happened to be one slumbering Sasuke on a disturbingly big bed. Or not any more slumbering, because Sasuke suddenly sat up, Sharingan spinning, his gaze locked at Naruto. Naruto gulped. Sasuke didn't look too happy.

They stared at each other like that for awhile, until Sasuke's Sharingan faded away, Sasuke's face clearly saying something along the lines of '_oh, it's just Naruto._'

For some reason Naruto felt like he should be insulted by that. He could be very threatening. But that wasn't why he was here!

Sasuke now sat on his bed, staring at Naruto, or the space between them, and he wasn't sure whether the Uchiha was awake or not. He carefully made his way to the bed and sat beside the dozing Sasuke.

"You awake or not?"

It took a moment but Sasuke gave him a small nod.

"Well, the thing is, I'll love you!"

Naruto said quite proudly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. But Sasuke didn't react that much, just kept staring forward, obviously having trouble staying awake.

'_Well, this is kinda awkward_.'

Slowly lowering his arms from the seemingly bold pose, Naruto let them fall down to his lap. He didn't feel that confident anymore.

"Because, because. The feelings I got for you was that I wanted to spend more time with you, ah, and don't you dare to look smug, you bastard! It's because you were, _are_, my best friend and such an antisocial jerk to boot. And I guess Kabuto was always implying that you meant more than a friend to me, not that I listen to what someone like he says. Then there are other reasons too, but I don't think you'd like hearing them that much…"

Naruto really didn't know how to explain himself. But it seemed like it didn't matter, Sasuke was still the zombie he was moments before. So, they sat in a silence for awhile, until Sasuke became to turn his head slowly to face Naruto, creeping him out a little.

He felt Sasuke's arms wrap around him and pulling them both down to lie on the mattress. Sasuke's face was buried on the crook of his neck, his breath tickling the sensitive skin there.

"Shut up. You're so noisy."

Or at least that was what Naruto thought the Uchiha mumbled into his neck before falling asleep. But all was good, now he could sleep over, just like he had indented to. Pulling the blankets over the two of them, he too closed his eyes.

_-o-o-o-_

It was morning and the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and Naruto was smiling while Sasuke just stared at the intruder in his bed. Though, he still seemed out of it, but not as much as he had been when Naruto sneaked in through his window.

"There's a Naruto in my bed."

Naruto just kept smiling. His feet weren't cold now. After all, they were so conveniently tangled with Sasuke's that it was impossible for them to be cold. Just like the first time he and Sasuke slept in the same bed.

Sasuke the legwarmer. What a perfect choice he had been.

"Why is there a Naruto in my bed?"

"_Because_, Sasuke-dear, Naruto sneaked in through your window, said he will love Sasuke, who then told him to shut up and fell asleep."

Sasuke gave a small, sleepy nod.

"I see."

Naruto guessed Sasuke liked his sleep. Maybe he should just have waited to tomorrow, which was currently today, so that Sasuke would have been more aware. But Naruto didn't regret anything. He didn't have to wake up his feet cold, after all, and that made it all worth it.

He chuckled and rubber his now warm legs against Sasuke's. Definitely the right choice.

"Your feet are cold."

Sasuke complained but did nothing to pull away from them.

"You think? I didn't notice."

_-o-o-o-_

Naruto felt currently very owned. As Sasuke had woken up completely, he finally realised the situation and quickly made Naruto as much his as he could. That meant drowning him in Uchiha symbols, which now occupied his borrowed shirt, pants, sandals and underwear. Sasuke had also written something to his forehead which he assumed was '_Sasuke's_'.

He only hoped it wasn't written with blood. A permanent marker would be pretty bad too. Naruto didn't protest much, not really caring how he was dressed. It was actually kind of cute of Sasuke. But when Sasuke tried to approach him with a tattooing needle in hand, without a doubt with the intention to tattoo that damned symbol on his bum or something, Naruto had to disagree.

So, Sasuke could be slightly the tiniest bit of possessive, but Naruto could live with that. Or rather, he now had no choice anymore. Not that he was regretting it, no sir. Sasuke's bed had been warm and besides, he still had other uses for him.

_-o-o-o-_

Sakura and Sai weren't looking too happy when they saw Sasuke, and especially Naruto, who was covered with the Uchiha symbols, walking together. They all stopped, forming a little square, Sasuke looking smug, Sakura looking not so happy and Sai not smiling. Naruto didn't like the tense atmosphere. So he decided to use one of the reasons he chose Sasuke and went behind him, peeking at the rejected suitors with caution.

Sasuke the shield made of meat. Of course, Naruto fully trusted Sasuke to be able to defend himself, and Naruto, from Sakura and Sai. Sasuke was strong. Naruto had nothing to worry about.

Though, the two supposed threat to Naruto's health seemed more insulted that furious when Naruto so cleverly hid behind Sasuke.

"Did you actually think we'd hurt you for rejecting us?"

There was slight disappointment in Sakura's voice. Naruto felt horrible. Not only had he hurt their feelings by rejecting them, he also thought they would actually hurt him for it. Of course they wouldn't.

"Of course I didn't, I just, um-"

He just laughed nervously, scratching his cheek sheepishly. Sasuke just glanced at him and then decided they had spent too much time with his teammates already. Grabbing Naruto's hand, he dragged his dobe away.

Sakura and Sai just watched after them, both feeling a bit disappointed.

"There goes another teammate I've chased after."

"Want to give me a try?"

Sakura looked a bit amused but shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure, why not."

_-o-o-o-_

From then on, Naruto made more night visits to Sasuke, running through the town clad in pyjamas, then climbing through that window and blobbed beside his leg warmer. Sasuke did this too, and it worked pretty well for them, until both of them left on the same night, missing each other while hurrying to the other's house.

It took almost the whole night, but finally they bumped into each other on the edge of the town.

Sasuke was frowning.

Naruto just felt like laughing.

It was a beautiful night after all, and even if rolling naked on the grass with equally naked Sasuke would make him itch like hell on the morning, it was all worth it.

Sasuke made him move in with him after that though. He even swore to kill Naruto if he ever mentioned that night they had spent stupidly running around town, looking for each other, to anyone.

Iruka, of course, had laughed when Naruto told him the story, but frowned when Naruto mentioned the death threat. Said lovers weren't supposed to say things like that. But Iruka just didn't see that, that was the best thing about their relationship. Nothing much had changed between the two of them. They still sparred each other to a bloody pulp. Sasuke still insulted him and Naruto ruthlessly used Sasuke's money to buy ramen.

Only thing that had changed was that they were living together now and continued their '_sparring_' sometimes throughout the night. Naruto was happy and so was Sasuke, thought, he'd only admit it if Naruto asked him while Sasuke was sleepy and out of it.

They were just Sasuke and Naruto. Their relationship didn't need any words to describe it and they could do whatever the hell they wanted together.

A disturbingly big bed with Sasuke to keep his feet warm. That was all Naruto could ask for. But he didn't need to ask, because they were already his.

* * *

**-END 2-**

My legs _hate_ sleeping under the blanket.


	13. Kyuubi

Disclaimer: Think I could buy the copyrights with ten billion euro? I'm still collecting the money thoug, so I quess I can't say its mine. Yet.

* * *

They stared at him, trying to remember to breathe once in a while, sweat dripping from their foreheads. Every move Naruto made, they would see. Every word the boy said, they'd hear it.

Naruto leaned backwards a bit. They leaned in, closer. They didn't want to miss anything, the excitement was too much. The boy would finally say who he chose! One of them, it had to be.

Sasuke was smug and confident.

Sakura was pretty sure and hopeful.

Sai was resisting the urge to jump the boy.

And Naruto wondered if this really was a good idea. Of course it was, he kept telling himself. They deserve to know that he had picked someone and then they could move on with their lives and be happy. Just like Naruto was happy with whom he had chosen.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Naruto nodded to himself and smiled.

"It's someone who has been there with me from the very beginning."

Sasuke looked even smugger, giving his rivals a victorious smirk.

"Someone who may seem murderously violent but is actually quite sweet and caring."

Sakura smiled despite how Naruto had voiced her bad side. It was her temper, but what could one do? Besides, Naruto always cherished the good qualities of a person over the bad ones. Sasuke's smug smirk was fading a bit.

"And last but not least, someone who's not familiar with feelings but is willing to learn and adapt to them for me."

Sai smiled, the other two didn't. What was Naruto talking about? Had he found some kind of a Sasuke-Sakura-Sai hybrid, willing to fulfil all of Naruto's wishes and ditch the real things?

Naruto ignored their looks, instead focusing his gaze on his stomach, pulling the shirt up a bit, revealing his marked tummy.

"Isn't that right, Kyuubi?"

Sasuke had already used the few reactions he had in store.

Sakura didn't even know how to react to something like that.

Sai wasn't smiling anymore.

"Dobe."

"Naruto… you _do_ realise you just said you're having a relationship with a gigantic fox demon sealed inside your belly?"

Naruto momentarily stopped patting his stomach, looking the three of them like they were stupid. Which they were, in his opinion. Kyuubi was the perfect choice after all.

"Of course I realise that, Sakura-chan. Can't you just be happy for us?"

And the three of them were looking at him like he was stupid. Which he was, at least after talking all that nonsense.

"So do tell us, dobe. How are you planning on having a relationship with someone who is sealed in you stomach?"

It seemed to be the question Naruto had been waiting for. He looked confident and proud of himself and laughed quite creepily which more than unnerved his suitors.

"Poor Sasuke, you know so little."

Sasuke twitched slightly.

"Behold!"

Naruto did some hand seals, soon a shadow clone standing there beside him. Only, this one had red eyes with slitted pupils. The clone looked around it, then at Naruto, then its hands. Looking like he couldn't believe it was there.

The clone grinned manically.

"You set me free, you fool!"

Kyuubi seemed extremely excited, probably plotting the next little mischief it'd perform. Maybe go over to Suna and destroy the city to bits.

Naruto just shook his head and took a kunai out from a horribly suspicious place. Stabbing it into Kyuubi's shoulder, the possessed shadow clone disappeared.

"Stupid, it's just the body of a shadow clone. So easy to destroy you, Kyuubi-baby."

The boy nothing but muttered to himself, making his ex-teammates hesitant on being so close to the boy. Naruto had lost it, most likely, probably, without a doubt, literally. And now he was summoning another clone looking like himself except the red eyes.

Although the sight of two Naruto's so close to each other was kind of arousing to the three still watching, they would prefer not knowing anything else of the twisted relationship the boy had gotten himself into. Maybe one day he'd come to his senses and then they'd have another chance.

Maybe.

"But at least that temporary body can withstand a bit of… fun."

Kyuubi growled as Naruto winked at it. The real Naruto was lifted from the ground and thrown over a tan shoulder.

"Please be gentle with me, Kyuubi-sama."

"I'll fucking destroy you, kit. That's real pleasure."

And the two blonds were gone from their sight, thankfully. It was too bizarre for them to take anymore. Maybe the day the boy came to his senses was still long away. Too far away for their liking. Better let the unpredictable boy go.

Yeah, it was definitely better to leave their precious Naruto in the clutches of a sadistic, violent belly demon.

Where was the logic in that?

Shrugging, they bid farewell to each other and went home.

* * *

**-END 3-**

I love Kyuubi! And Itachi. But that had nothing to do with this.

Anyway! Next I'll try and write Sakura. Yesh. And then Hinata and then Neji. Though I shouldn't promise anything because keeping promises is so hard.

Oh well. This chapter was kind of random. Out of the blue if I may. But you can show Kyuubi some love anyway by reviewing:D


End file.
